We, as humans, are not perfect. We are quite the opposite.
Unfortunately for us, everyone expects perfection. Even if you think you don’t, you do. People expect level-headed, rational, perfectly shaped, and proper individuals. People expect you not to throw a temper-tantrum, or have cellulite, or be dramatic because it might be inconvenient for them.
That’s just bullshit.
I’m not sure if I’m angry or just tired of trying to impress all the wrong people. I am not rational all the time. I get angry. I eat too many tacos. I lash out. I overreact. News flash: I am human.
Anxiety is in my DNA. A short fuse is there too. I am intimidating and brutally honest. I don’t like when I’m wrong and I can get pretty fired up when I don’t like what I hear. I am not perfect…and neither are you.
Lately my behavior has affected a few people around me. It’s not easy disappointing people. It’s a repercussion of my personality, my situation, and my stress level. Sure, I have a nasty habit of bottling things in and letting them explode like a freshly dropped beer can. If you are going to make me feel bad about making mistakes, I will either start hating you, or make more of them around you.
I am not always going to have my shit together and in a world where everyone is always searching for the next best thing, we get rejected by many because of our imperfections.
You never really know someone until they are put in an impossible situation. You never really know your friends until they have to love you through the ugliest of times. You never really know who will accept you as the imperfect human being you are until they see you at your worst, and stick around anyway.
Sometimes when I think everything is going well, the ground falls out from under me – quite literally. It can be exhausting being the person everyone expects you to be. If someone doesn’t allow you to take two steps back, and understand that it sucks for you just as much as it sucks for them, then that’s their problem. If they can’t see past the imperfections, and that the overreactions or outbursts are because you care and have a lot going on, then that’s their problem too.
People will make excuses. People will point blame in every other direction but their own. People will not understand what is happening in your mind, or why you act the way you do. If they don’t work to understand…those people are not worth your time.
If they are unhappy. If they can’t handle you at your worst. If they can’t be there through the horseshit we all deal with, they can search for someone “better.” They can search for perfection. But they will never find it.
We all want to be accepted by the people we choose to be in our lives. We want our imperfections, our overreactions, our short fuses to be accepted too. Those are the things that make us who we are.
If you can’t accept me for who I am (including the bad) I am okay with that because there are so many people who already do.