“I woke up Wednesday morning feeling…what’s the word? Is there a word? I’m not sure there is a word to describe it. Tuesday night, I was in shock. I was angry. I was devastated. In 16 years I have never felt these feelings after an election. I felt them in other facets of my life, sure, but I didn’t recognize them in this context. All I knew how to do was cry. Cry for myself, women, families, friends, and the multitude of people our president-elect had belittled, brushed under the rug, dehumanized, and rejected. I cried for the friends that I have who don’t understand my pain, and could potentially walk away because of my “overreaction” or political views. I am a person who combats serious situation with jokes, comedy, and laughter. I could not even muster up the energy for a smile on Wednesday.”
That was my reaction on November 9th, 2016.
The world didn’t explode, my life remains the same, and most importantly I remain hopeful for the future. However, those feelings of despair, sadness, and anger are still present. After an inauguration I was dreading, a couple fights with people I love, and feeling stuck. I now have more optimism than ever.
I participated in a march that changed my life.
It was liberating. It was insightful. It was empowering. So many people that believe in our future. So many people willing to stand up for what they believe in. So many people marching in solidarity with one another for something much bigger than themselves. It was the most selfless act I have ever been a part of. I have never been more proud to be a woman, and an American. This wasn’t an act of HATE, it was an act of LOVE. It wasn’t a protest against one single man. It was a movement of togetherness, hope, and courage to peacefully speak up. I am most proud of the friendships and love I witnessed, and got to be a part of. Everyone was so kind and understanding. It was nothing short of amazing.
Politics are always difficult to discuss. I have a hard time finding the right words and keeping myself in check. I am emotional, I am disappointed, I am hurt, I am sad, and I, at times, am closed minded about the President. That does not mean I do not care. That does not mean I don’t agree with some aspects. That does not mean I am disrespectful. I have slowly started to learn that agreeing to disagree is the best option. We have become so divided, that finding a middle ground seems impossible. I realize that I have to work on finding that middle ground too.
As someone who rarely holds my tongue, I have found many outlets and ways to get my voice heard. I email my Congressmen every Monday. I don’t get many responses, but I keep doing it. I try to talk to people who agree and disagree with me. I try to laugh, A LOT. There are some pretty funny memes out there that make a tough conversation much more relaxed. There are ways to communicate, but you have to know the boundary of effective communication and when to stop. I have quickly learned mine.
Because I wrote about the election a couple months ago, here is an excerpt from that post that I did not publish…
“Let us find a way to move on. I highly doubt we will accept that this happened, but it did, and now we have to find the strength to begin our fight. Our fight to be able to hope that everything he has said was just to get elected. Our fight to somehow, some way, find good in a man who has been hurtful. We have to move forward, and hope that he advocates for everyone that makes our country great.”
I am so happy we found our strength to march.
He is our 45th President, but he does not represent me and that is okay. I say so, The Constitution says so, and so do millions who marched. I am proud, and you should be too.