Identity Crisis? Part II

Still hanging in there? All you ex-athletes who are trying to become something greater. Those who are trying to achieve more after sport. Those essentially starting from the bottom of something totally and completely new. Recently I have realized that my peak age was not 16, or 18, or 22.

I refuse to let the years behind me define me.

I have learned way too much to write in this single post after Identity Crisis. I have received amazing feedback and encouragement, but most of all it helped me realize that we are not alone in this battle. I started all this because I was at a point in my life where I thought I was alone. After all my posts, I have learned the exact opposite.

I have been making progress after gymnastics, and guess what? Back to sports I go…

It has been a long year and a half. Not always pleasant, not always easy, and definitely not pretty. But I have found a new path and I have been working my ass off. My personality can be lazy at times, a drifter, a daydreamer. That is who I am. It takes me longer than most to reel myself in, but when I do there is no stopping me. With that being said I have begun my move from being lost in identity to back to something I really enjoy.

I have decided to go BACK to school.

Why? Mainly because education is something we can hold onto forever. No one can threaten that or take it away. There is no such thing as too much. But I have been back at it for a year now aspiring to be a Clinical Psychologist – specializing in sports. That dream is far from a reality for me at this point, but I am determined to get there.

Although I was in a rut for a good 2 years and I never thought I would escape; I have managed to pull through. As all athletes manage to do…when we’re down it never means we’re out.

Many people have taken different routes through the rut. Some are married with children. Some traveling the world. Some recovering from illness or loss. Regardless of the situation that is presenting itself to you, there is only one way to go and that is forward. Life relates way too much to gymnastics it’s scary. When put into perspective, it’s useful.

I’ve been knocked around. I’ve figuratively fallen on my face. I’ve been told I’m not good enough. I’ve been scolded, and yelled at, and scared to get back up just to fail again.

But I just keep going because that’s what we do.

It is reassuring to know that I am prepared for a shit storm if one comes my way. Through hours in the gym, from advocating for what I believe in, to life not going exactly as planned. I will be prepared for one thing, and that is to continue.

Always push forward, even through the darkest hours. You will find your way. And always, always remember…

You are not alone.

It’s good to be back.

~S

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